The Joys Of Life.

Life has been so interesting lately.

A few weeks ago I spent 15 lovely hours in the hospital with my Fiance, Josh.

We found out that he has a Umbilical Hernia, which he'll have surgery for in a few weeks. 

He's been in a lot of pain and can't do much, it really hurts him to walk and work out.. its been a challenge for me because I work a lot then I come home, make dinner and help clean up and do laundry, I tend to complain sometimes because I'm tired from work, but Josh is in serious need.. he isn't suppose to do anything because the littlest jolt and the Hernia could tear worse then what its been.

A few days ago, my mom had a heart attack, she had surgery today for a pacemaker, she's been getting like 20 beats per minuet with out it... which is scary. I just recently started to build a relationship with my mom because she left my step-dad when I was 15 years old.. I am now 20 and haven't even seen her since I was 15. I used to live in Redding, Ca and I moved to Denver, Co when I turned 18.. then I gave my mom another chance to be a mom. Which was hard, but I missed her so much and things have been going great, when I found out she had a heart attack, I was so, so scared.. I thought I would lose her. 

My mom did a lot of drinking and drugs after she left, that's why I never saw her much.. but now.. I forgive her, forgiveness is an amazing thing.. sure you don't forget but somehow forgiving the person that has hurt you endlessly kinda helps.. you don't think about the hurt so much, I think about how much our relationship has been restored. I love her a lot.

So that's what my past few weeks has looked like. It's been very stressful and just endlessly draining, mentally and emotionally. I'm trying so hard to keep it together, I can't stress Josh out, it puts him into pain. Its just hard. I can't even put on the happy face anymore.. I don't know why.. my family really wears on me at times. Not really Josh just other family.

It'll get better. :)

-Amanda